Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Believe


I'm sitting in my art studio today, pondering the mysteries of life. For real, I am!

I'm embarking on an adventure full of new beginnings. Back to college in the fall to earn a BS in Art, hoping that I will someday have an art studio where I'll teach people of all ages how to immerse themselves in their creative juices. I'll find a way to make this my career because life's too short to get a job simply to make money. I want a job that allows me to share my passion for creating. A job that makes a difference...maybe not a change-the-whole-world difference...maybe a change-the-life-of-a-person-here-and-there difference. Maybe changing the life of a person, inspiring her to follow her bliss and find joy, does change the world a little at a time. I should set my goals higher. I will change the world.

So many possibilities. So much promise. At times it's overwhelming. In a good way.

At the same time that I'm here, contemplating the promise of my future, my 93 year old Grandmother is in the hospital with a heart that's showing its age. She told my parents, "I don't want to be old." Now I feel joy step aside to let sadness in.

I know that my Grandmother worries a lot. She worries about whether or not her children love her. Worries about whether or not she was a good mother. Worries about many other things that I don't even know. I'm pretty sure there's a Worrying Gene. Dad got it. I got it. I'm pretty sure my son got it.

Here's the thing: When I'm 93, I don't want to be lying in a hospital bed worrying about whether or not I was a good mom, wife, daughter, friend; whether or not I lived my best life; whether or not I left the world a little better than I found it; whether or not I made the best of every single second. I want to lie there and BELIEVE that I did all of those things, and did them well. I have to believe that I will.

I'd love to hear what YOU believe in. Post a comment below.





6 comments:

  1. I believe in YOU!

    I believe in the creative spirit and that when passion meets action, magic can happen.

    LOVE this piece and LOVE that you are sharing it here. Your family and your grandma's health will be in my thoughts.

    xo,
    Carmen

    ReplyDelete
  2. Amen, sister. Magic!

    Thanks for your note...it's like a giant e-Hug.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I totally believe that this dream is possible--it's very similar to one of my own :) Good luck in your endeavor. I know you'll be successful!

    ReplyDelete
  4. And good luck to you, Alisha! Thanks for dropping in and for the sweet comment.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I fully believe in a life full of possibilities - more than what our society presents to us as possible. There are some of us who have the courage to push forward through the snares and toils to do what it is that we really want to do. And neither do I want to end up at the end of my life wondering what if? This is not a dress rehearsal. And time waits for no one. So we press on towards our dreams.

    Best to you and your family through this difficult time. And best to you in your journey!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Thanks for your comment, JulesMae! You are so right. I wish the BEST to you too!

    ReplyDelete