Have you ever thought you kinda had things all planned out? Knew where you wanted to be and when you wanted to get there? Have you thought that you were pretty sure of what you needed to be happy? I have. And, it was a pretty safe, comfy place to be.
Then, out of nowhere, there was a fork in the road. There was a sign pointing in the direction that my plan SHOULD HAVE taken me. But, totally against my will, life shoved me the other direction. All of a sudden, I was in a strange place. Out of sorts. Confused.
I stewed around in that funk for quite some time. Holding on so tight to my previous plans. I had everything figured out. It was so perfect in my mind. I will NOT let go! I held on for dear life, all the while refusing to acknowledge that this new place I was in was making me just as happy as I hoped I'd be in "that other place". Stubbornness prevailed. I was not going to change my plan. I was gonna flip a U-turn and go back the way I came. Life's not gonna boss me around.
I stewed around in stubbornness for a while, too. Then I remembered something that Buddhists believe: Attachment causes suffering. Man, are they right. And I started to loosen my grasp. Then I let go. Then I grieved. Who am I kidding...I'm still grieving. Grieving the loss of the dream I had. Grieving the loss of the plans I'd made. Grieving the loss of the "for sure-ness" I felt...I had it all figured out!
I guess the real question is: What do I need, right now, to be happy? And honestly, I've got it all. A home to live in, food to eat, wonderful family and friends. I'm trying to be in the moment. I'm trying not to worry about where this new path is going to take me. I'm trying to focus on where my feet are RIGHT NOW on this path in the sacred journey of life.
This is what I know:
I feel content. Right here.
I feel loved. Right now.
I am overwhelmed with gratitude. Always.
That's enough. And may I be at peace as I (as a wise friend once told me) be patient and allow for the "creative unfolding of the universe". The right things will happen at the right time, in the right place. Amen.
Leave me a comment and let me know if you've had this experience. I'd love to hear your insights.