Tuesday, May 11, 2010


I'm sitting in my art studio today, pondering the mysteries of life. For real, I am!

I'm embarking on an adventure full of new beginnings. Back to college in the fall to earn a BS in Art, hoping that I will someday have an art studio where I'll teach people of all ages how to immerse themselves in their creative juices. I'll find a way to make this my career because life's too short to get a job simply to make money. I want a job that allows me to share my passion for creating. A job that makes a difference...maybe not a change-the-whole-world difference...maybe a change-the-life-of-a-person-here-and-there difference. Maybe changing the life of a person, inspiring her to follow her bliss and find joy, does change the world a little at a time. I should set my goals higher. I will change the world.

So many possibilities. So much promise. At times it's overwhelming. In a good way.

At the same time that I'm here, contemplating the promise of my future, my 93 year old Grandmother is in the hospital with a heart that's showing its age. She told my parents, "I don't want to be old." Now I feel joy step aside to let sadness in.

I know that my Grandmother worries a lot. She worries about whether or not her children love her. Worries about whether or not she was a good mother. Worries about many other things that I don't even know. I'm pretty sure there's a Worrying Gene. Dad got it. I got it. I'm pretty sure my son got it.

Here's the thing: When I'm 93, I don't want to be lying in a hospital bed worrying about whether or not I was a good mom, wife, daughter, friend; whether or not I lived my best life; whether or not I left the world a little better than I found it; whether or not I made the best of every single second. I want to lie there and BELIEVE that I did all of those things, and did them well. I have to believe that I will.

I'd love to hear what YOU believe in. Post a comment below.